Do you wake up with the best intentions?
Do you tell yourself: THIS is going to be the day where I get my act together! I'm going to work hard, be healthy and achieve balance.
But do you find that, once again around 3, when you are miles off your list and still sitting around in your PJ's, you wonder 'what the heck happened?!'
You know you've been pounding away all day....typing, shuffling things, moving around and writing lists.
But when you try to figure out what you have actually accomplished - it's a big void.
Everything on your list remains unchecked -- you haven't eaten, done yoga, walked the dog, responded to email, had your green smoothie or read the one chapter from your self help book....all of which you planned to do by 9:00 am.
So now what do you do?
Do you quickly re-group?
Or do you pull out the tub of ice cream and a spoon and say screw it? Flick on Cops and plunk down in your recliner to wallow in your misery?
Does any of this sound familiar?
I can tell you - it does in my world, and I've spent years trying to get to the root of this problem, which I now refer to as 'the spin cycle.'
Here is what I've discovered:
- I get hyper focused on the things I love and time just disappears.
- I get pulled in different directions (like the pull of the spin cycle) with email, technology and the 'bings' going off everywhere and find the instant gratification of checking out the 'bing' hard to resist.
- But then I struggle to re-group on whatever I was doing.
- I can't sit still for long periods of time so I find other things to do (laundry, cat box, weeding, watering the plants...).
- Some of the things I feel I should be doing...I just hate doing. Period.
So...if this happens to you, how do you deal with it?
I have come up with a plan based on 3 words:
And here is my 5 step plan to get your day under control:
First - get a sheet of paper and a pen or pencil and write down everything that you MUST do in a day. These are the non negotiables in your mind. For example: eat something.
Second - take it up a notch and write down everything you feel you OUGHT to do in a day. These are the things that will give you pleasure and make you feel like you have accomplished something worthy. For example: eat breakfast, by 9:00
Third - take it up another notch and write down everything that you WANT to do in a day. These are the things that will make you feel like a rock star. For example: eat a healthy breakfast, with protein, by 8:00.
Forth - focus on your must dos for one straight week. Everyday that you get your musts do's done - celebrate!
Fifth - slowly - very slowly - add an 'ought' to your day. Then very slowly over time, add a 'want' to your day. But watch for your tipping point. This is key. When do you feel successful? When does it feel manageable? When does it feel like you have hit your sweet spots of musts, oughts and wants?
Why? Because you need to get to a place where you feel good and successful while accepting some of the things that are just part of who you are.
And then - take the time to notice.
Why does this matter so much? Because we spend our day beating ourselves up for the things we don't do and never give ourselves credit for the things we do.
By following this plan you will feel each of your successes. And you will also come to accept all the parts that make you, you.
The success you feel will increase your confidence.
With this confidence will come more success.
And you will learn to appreciate and enjoy the uniqueness of you.
Remember - there are no rules on how life should be lived...so work on moving to a greater place of self acceptance. Over time you will see that this self acceptance is key to keeping you calm, balanced and in control - and this will help you to have a rich and fulfilling life.
Judy Mouland loves to challenge the status quo and chip away at the word ‘normal.’ Over the years, she has learned to embrace and use her own quirky brain to succeed and is passionate about the power of self-awareness. She became a CTI (Coaches Training Institute) Life Coach for people with ADHD, LD, OCD (and their favorite cousins; anxiety and depression) after serving for 20+ years in local, national and international settings, most recently as the C.E.O. of the Learning Disabilities Association of Canada.She works to empower her clients to live life on their own terms - no excuses – and to uncover their brilliance so they can shine. She is a member of the International Coaches Federation and freely admits that most everything she knows she has learned from her three exceptional children, who never let her brain become idle. Her empowering blog posts can be found at: www.judymouland.com/blog