What if you have that kid?
You know the one I mean.
The one who is always being sent to the principal's office, for some random offense.
The one who tells his teachers what he thinks.
The one who acts out in class. who gets bored in lines, who is too loud on the bus.
The one who gets too excited at family gatherings, and runs outside in his underwear on a warm summer evening when it is raining.
Ya - that kid. The one who will happily draw a series of penises if egged on enough by his friends. Because it is silly and fun and he is always out to please. The one who passes a soccer ball and somehow manages to breaks an overhead light in the process. The one who fidgets in class and spills water all over his project.
The one who comes home and asks "why am I the one always getting into trouble when I say how I feel...instead of talking behind the teacher's back?"
The one who can't figure out why moving around in class is bad, but cheating on a test - as long as you don't get caught - is good.
The one who watches his friends steal from the local store (and never would) and will never tell on them.
The kid who's opinion just annoys others - because he challenges the status quo - with insight that others couldn't even dream to process, and who makes others question themselves and stiffen their backs, because they don't like to be challenged.
You watch...and you feel the opinions coming off of others, the sideways glances, the "I'll get back to you" texts when you invite other kids to hang out with him. And you feel your Mama Bear bristles going up on the back of your neck...to the point where you want to scream "But he is soooo good!'
And then you doubt yourself - the kind of parent you are - and if you are doing it right.
And some days you feel like a failure.
And yet you know your kid.
You know he is so good...and so kind...and so decent.
You know he is the kind of kid who would never rat out a friend, or steal, or cheat.
You know he is the kind of kid who will always check with you before putting a $2 purchase on your credit card for an online game (even though he has your info saved) because he is that trustworthy.
You know he is the kind of kid who is loyal to his friends - even when they aren't loyal to him.
You know he is the kind of kid who hugs you tight at bedtime, even though he's older now, and who tells you he loves you...and that you are the best mom...and means it.
And you know he is the kind of kid who ends up comforting you...when you are doubting yourself.
So what do you do if you have that kid?
You trust your instincts.
You listen to your gut.
You stop worrying about what others (who values you question anyways) think of him, and you.
You laugh with him and get silly and share everything...everything...and know that the kind of relationships that you have with him is absolutely precious.
You thank God or the Universe or the Powers That Be for giving him to you.
And you trust yourself.
You believe that you ARE doing a great job as a mom.
You remind yourself that life is long - and today is just today.
You believe, and never doubt, in what he will become...what he already is.
And you allow yourself to just love him, unconditionally, everyday, fully and completely.
Judy Mouland loves to challenge the status quo and chip away at the word ‘normal.’ Over the years, she has learned to embrace and use her own quirky brain to succeed and is passionate about the power of self-awareness. She became a CTI (Coaches Training Institute) Life Coach for people with ADHD, LD, OCD, aspergers, autism and other conditions after serving for 20+ years in local, national and international settings, most recently as the C.E.O. of the Learning Disabilities Association of Canada. She works to empower her clients to live life on their own terms - no excuses - and to uncover their brilliance so they can shine. She is a TrueTilt Certified Practitioner, a team member at Psychological Services Associates (PSA Ottawa) and a member of the International Coaches Federation. She freely admits that most everything she knows she has learned from her exceptional children, who never let her brain become idle. You can write to Judy at firstname.lastname@example.org and her empowering blog posts can be found at: www.judymouland.com/blog